Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Randomizationalism Volume I

Sometimes, I let my warped mind run wild. This causes me to make strange assumptions about known facts and ask strange questions. Ironically, I believe it is these random ramblings and mindless minutiae that sometimes keep me from going insane. I have put these observations and queries into a category called Randomizationalisms. Actually, the word was conceived by my daughter Brianna. Randomizationalism was going to be the title of my blog before I decided that BDGJM (Babbling, Drivel, Gibberish, Jibber-Jabber, and Mumbo-Jumbo) was more suitable. In any case, please ponder these few fleeting facts, quacky queries, and warped wacky world views.

  • A female cat is called a queen. A female turkey is a hen. The male of both of these is a tom. A young cat is a kitten. A young turkey is an egg.
  • A whale is a salt dwelling mammal. This is why we never hear of a whale being "laked" or "ponded".
  • If there is a kitty corner, is there a puppy peripheral, a gerbil geometric, or a turtle tangent?
  • A female kangaroo is called a doe. A young kangaroo is called a joey. A doe kangaroo with a male joey is called a male carrier.
  • Why do parents, in the say conversation with their kids, say the following phrases (sometimes in succession): "Don't talk back to me", "Now, ANSWER me", "Is that understood?"
  • Why do people name their cats? The only thing a cat responds to is "KITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTY" and only then because they believe they are being fed.
  • It's bad enough to lose a hockey game. It has got to be downright humiliating to lose to a team called the Penguins or the Mighty Ducks. Then again we also have baseball teams called Orioles, Cardinals, and Blue Jays. I'm sorry but bird teams just don't sound that intimidating.
  • Guy's guide to classic movies: If you want to laugh, watch "Airplane". If you want a prison move, watch "Cool Hand Luke". If you want a good war movie, watch "The Bridge on the River Kwai".
  • It is quite possible that a public catastrophe will occur and someone will shout: "IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO WRITES A BLOG?" I will never be prompted to say: "It's OK, ma'am. I'm a blogger". Nonetheless, I'll probably do it anyway.


So there you have it folks, there may be more of these in the future. Time (and my warped mind) will determine that.

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